Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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