And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
jump out the window naked night went bad
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