No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
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Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.