it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.