Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?