i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wish there were birth control emojis
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.