We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.