Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.