I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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