Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize