I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
