can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
