remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
