I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
