Where did you get a picture of my penis
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
not ubering you a puppy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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