I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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