puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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