What did we do last night that was yellow?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize