They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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