fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My vagina is very pro this idea
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