Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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