bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you would pick up someone in the library
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
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found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
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I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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