Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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