First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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