Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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