In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize