Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
