I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
