i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
is that a dick in a sweater?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
