you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
