Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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