Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
