I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
