A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
