My sheets look like a crime scene.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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