office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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