Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
