What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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