I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize