I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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