Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
