only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
