i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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