Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
