who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
