I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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