I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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