How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
