My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize