He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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