big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
