There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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