If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
