how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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