it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
