Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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