do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if only i could text you this smell
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
