Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize