my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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