When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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