physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize