Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
