1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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