New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize