what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
