on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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