The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
