Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
